1. You need a mean lawyer. Actually, the most successful divorce lawyers are generally quite personable. They have learned that the old adage You get more bees with honey than vinegar is generally true. Lawyers who fight over every piece of Tupperware in cabinet will cost more and, often, with very little return since most divorce law is focused on an equitable division. The skillful lawyer knows that listening to what is meaningful to you is the key to sculpting the agreement that will make you the most comfortable in starting your new life.
2. Divorce is expensive. While it is certainly true that divorce can be expensive, it does not have to be. A skillful lawyer can often help parties see that what they thought was a major disagreement is really something that can be addressed to the satisfaction of both parties with the use of a little creativity.
3. Divorce destroys families. What destroys families is the refusal of the parties involved to do their best to treat their soon to be ex with courtesy and respect. Just because you have decided you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with someone doesn’t mean you have to declare war on them.
4. A judge will tell you what you have to do. That is only true in the few cases in which the parties are unable to work Together to reach an agreement about how the matters in their divorce case will be handled. These day s most divorce cases are mediated, which means that most cases are resolved by agreement, so it is really more likely than not that all matters will be decided by the parties themselves.
5. The mother is more likely to get custody of the children. First, the concept of custody really doesn’t exist anymore. Parenting is seen more as a shared endeavor between the parents and Parenting Plans can include many varieties of arrangements in which parenting time and decisions are divided between the parties in creative ways that best suit the individuals in that particular situation.
Elizabeth M. Sodergren